Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Okay, so, last night I went to this really heartwarming filmfestival sponsered by the women's studies department here at ODU. It was so endearing, beautifully crafted, and truthful. All about women.
There was one film that touched me so much that I actually started to cry. At first, I was a little embarrassed. I tried to make like I was allergic to dust or something, but then I looked around at all of these identical tear stricken faces and I just let the tears fall.
It was about a woman struggling with social anxiety. In the film she was followed incessently by this man (representing the voice inside her head). With every move she made he commented. It was so unashamedly honest. For example, every time she looked at another woman, the voice said things like "she's prettier" or "thinner" or "You're about to be ugly like her if you keep eating this lunch." He created this noise inside of her head that quickly became unbearable for the audience. We all cried, because we knew that if someone put a microphone to the voice in our heads it would be like that too.
Then it showed her walking home at night, being followed by him, but feeling very alone, and in the film, at that moment, everything was silent. Then she went home and she started crying and biting her wrist while he chattered on with insults. I felt like God was telling me that I'm not the only one. By the end of the film she had beaten the voice up and wore a red dress. My hope for myself is that one day I'll beat my social anxiety up and find myself walking around in a red dress.
We all go through it. There's no point in saying you don't. My hope for all women is that we can unite and combat it together. We don't need to feel so afraid.

Last night I also found a really amazing song. It's beautiful. Lonely, Lonely by Feist http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlIDp7Rk2Ag&feature=related

1 comment:

  1. Now I understand what you mean about that film being amazing. I wish I had been able to see it. Its so true thats what going on inside our heads constantly. I want to wear a red dress and beat up my demons too...