This sense of certainty hit me today while I was smoking outside. I realized that it's not my job to protect my Grandmother. It's simply a moral responsibility. And sometimes when you have too many responsibilities, you have to prioritize them, putting the most important on top. And I realized, by staying with him, she put the responsibility she had for me on the bottom. So, why should I decide to put her on the top. And besides, I can't protect her from everything. She decided to stay married to a fucking pedophile... having the police knock on your door is the price of that.
I'm sorry she married him. I'm sorry she found out so late. I'm sorry all of this happened to her. But yeah know what, we have to be grown ups now. We can't change what happened. We can only react to it. And she hasn't reacted well. And now, she'll have to feel consequences of that.
But that is neither here nor there at this moment, because what I really want to talk about is how fucking stupid and tactless and socially retarded the fucking police were. First of all, I had to drive an hour away from my home to where the crime actually occurred to report it. Then I had to wait a whole HOUR to speak to an officer (might I add that I called ahead of time). Then they send me some fucking trainee who doesn't know how to spell Kimberly. THEN, this officer is joined by a douchebag colleague who proceeds to interrogate me about details of the incident in a fucking waiting room in front of a bunch of people. I had to say in front of all these attentive and curious ears that my grandfather penetrated my vagina with his fingers. In response to that statement, the dbag officer #2 says all aggressively, "Okay, well, then why didn't you report him?" I was actually prepared for this question, because I know police are supposed to be skeptical. So, I replied by saying, "Because I was 7 and I was afraid." I thought my response would make him feel like the ahole he was being, but NO. He replies by looking at me like "Yeah, well, nothing we can do now." As if that's not bad enough. Right before I leave, he goes all cockily "So, how much alcohol have you consumed tonight?" WTFFFFFFF. I hadn't had anything whatsoever to drink. And so, I just stared at him in complete shock and told him the truth a couple times over in case he was too dumb to get it the first time. And he was like, "Well, you're eyes are red and glassy and you seem disoriented" and apparently, according to him, I smelled like alcohol. There are a million more probable reasons for why my eyes were red and my behavior disoriented. And as far as the smell... he's absolutely nuts. I have no idea what could have made him smell alcohol on me... According to him a detective will call me before the end of the week... 5 bucks says they blow my accusation off and eat a doughnut.
Now, I know why people hate cops and nobody reports crimes.
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