shame lame

Have you ever seen one of those characters on tv that's been in therapy for decades at a time? Well, I'm the real deal. I've been sitting in a chair spilling my guts out to a professional since the age of 8. And you know what? I love it. I like having a therapist who I can share my hopes and dreams and frustrations with. It's nice to have a professional put things into a different perspective that I can reflect on in times of need.

I don't feel shame at all for seeking someone out and getting help. I feel good.

just breathe

My first year in college is coming to an end. And I have no idea where the hell i'm at in the progress that is called my life. I just know that this past year, i've been working on building a compass for myself. Instead of depending on Leslie for guidence, I've been using myself to create standards, expectations, and boundaries. I've been using myself as a doctor. I'm feeling in control of my life. I'm feeling like I can do anything. I can lead the life I want without feeling constrained by the expectations of others.

It's working.

I can't get over this picture.

Hookey

I played hookey today. I didn't go to my classes. Why? Well, I just didn't feel like it. In fact, not only did I not feel like it, I absolutely dreaded it. I tried so hard to motivate myself and conjure up any thing that would force me into that seat, but it was all to no avail.

Instead, I slept in. Played around on stumble for, er, a couple hours. Listened endlessly to music. Made a mixed cd for Warren. Ate lots and lots of food. And then brushed my teeth at noon o.0

Today has been productive in the quietest of ways. There's nothing like some r&r to make life feel better.

adios.

'maggy and milly and molly and may'

maggy and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)
and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and
milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;
and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and
may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.
For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
its always ourselves we find in the sea

E. E. Cummings

Wash Me?