Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Childhood traumas

So, I saw this picture today and it reminded me a lot about my childhood. I was always alone and reading somwhere outside. I didn't have many friends growing up. I wasn't very good at socializing. I often alienated people and made moments uncomfortable. So, yes, I was often alone or with my little brother.

I have a million traumatizing memories from childhood. Most of which take place in middle school where everyone made fun of me for being tall and wearing short pants. They'd always ask me where the flood was coming from. I mean, come on, I went through a growth spurt early on and my clothes just couldn't keep up with it. Anyway, the worst one took place during the third grade. I will never forget it. It forced me into lonliness.

It started with a mouse... We had one in the garage. And my parents used every technique possible to get rid of it before it got inside the house. They had traps, poisons, etc. Well, I was especially fascinated by the traps. I'd snap them all around the house for kicks and giggles. Well, one day I was playing with this girl from across the street. She started getting on my nerves (as most people did back then). So, I came up with the "brilliant" idea to seduce her into putting her finger in the mouse trap and letting me snap it. I don't why I thought it would be so amusing. It was just one of those nonsensical things kids do out of curiousity and boredom. So, anyway, I tricked her and snap went the trap. I didn't realize it was going to hurt her so badly... Well, she started to wail, and ran home. She told her parents on me and within seconds they marched across the street and banged on our front door.

The second I saw their faces my stomache dropped because I knew I was about to be in deep shit. Moments later my parents came out. The neighbors yelled at me and told me I did a very mean thing. They then demanded that I apologize to their daughter. But by that point I was feeling very agitated and rebellious by their overdramatic and overly emotional accusations and statements. So, instead of apologizing to them for sticking her finger in the trap, I said "I'm sorry, your daughter's dumb enough to let me put her finger in a mouse trap." To that their jaws dropped and I hauled my ass into my bedroom, because I knew my mom would be after me with the belt. But instead there was just silence. No one came running after me.

An hour later my parents came into my room and told me that the neighbors decided I was bad influence on their daughter. They said she wasn't allowed to play with me anymore. "Whatever", I thought. However, I started regretting hurting her finger a couple days later. Her family had a pool installed in her backyard, so, all the neighborhood kids went over to her house everyday (a house I was banned from). And I was left all alone.

Maybe I dserved it. maybe... just maybe... but you know what? To this day I still think she deserved to have her finger snapped. If you're stupid enough to put it in their, you deserve to be taught a lesson.
Anyway, while I hated being alone at the time. I appreciate it now. Being alone with books and nature back then taught me how to appreciate and embrace things I would have never noticed otherwise. I learned about the magic of imaginary friends and I also discovered my quirks. Besides as Sandra Bullock says in Yah Yah "If I had had an easy childhood, I'd have nothing to write about."
Now I just look back and laugh. sometimes cringe. but mostly laugh, because I have good friends now who understand me.


  1. I think she deserved it. I mean come on, at that age we knew the dangers of mouse traps. I don't think you were socially akward. If you recall we became friend during these younger years. Maybe I am socially akward too and we were just meant for each other.

    I can live with that : D

  2. I'm betting that we were meant for each other.

  3. I agree with Kait, the girl deserved it. When I was a kid I always read, but in my room. I only had a few close friends who were addicted to books like me. Eventually they grew out of it, and of me.
    Books are better friends than people, because if you're feeling lonely you can just find one, and they'll never leave, and they'll always comfort you.